FAMILY & PARENTING · Uncategorized

Change is the only constant

changeEntering into the 3rd month of the year and my first reaction is…ALREADY? Where did January and February run by? Has it already been 2 months since we brought in the New Year 2016?

How time flies? As a mother of two kiddos, nostalgia sets in and suddenly I want to hit the pause button, relive a few moments and soak each moment.

January: New Year, general festive hangover, kids back to school and routine started

February: general routine humdrum

March: It’s the month of exams for older children. It’s the month where parents of toddlers are taking their final calls on which school to send their children. It’s the last month of these children coming home by lunch! Post March the parents will see and interact lesser with their children. The new BIG school will takeover their life and parents and children will have lesser bonding moments.

 

I wonder if Shakespeare’s famous warning by a soothsayer to Julius Caesar– ‘Beware the ides of March’ was in fact for all the children and their parents? How interesting that school calendars are also linked to the Roman calendar!

 

Children are growing every minute of everyday but this growth gets captured when they give an exam and/or they move up a class and usually that turning point is right about now. While the school is telling me that my child has grown up a whole year, I have been seeing those signs all through the year only to culminate on one fateful day in school and the change is made apparent. Suddenly the child is a year older.

Changing grades implies they need me less. Per se it’s a good thing. I get a little bit more time when they brush their own teeth, dress up by themselves or eat their own meals. But it also tells this mother, that she will need to start changing the bonding moments and get more creative on how to still be an integral part of their lives. The inevitable change! While my children prepare for their next class, I prepare to keep up with them.

 

Our nighttime reading is sacrosanct time. I usually read the books of their choice while huddled together. Already the change is evident here. Peanut who has started to read…loves to read. So often by the time I come in for the reading time, Peanut is attempting his reading while Buttercup is huddled next to him. Wanting to grab every second of this cuddly time, I quickly jump in and become part of their tales adding as much drama as I can muster. But it may not be long before I will be needed in this activity! I plan to just stick around anyway.

 

Our meal times are becoming more intellectually inclined with games around world general knowledge! Then either hubby or self throw in a silly face and there are peels of laughter. Thank God they are still young enough to laugh at the silly things. But the feeling that ‘this wont last forever too’ is looming over us! On our part as parents we are brushing up on our GK to ensure we can be active players of this game and of course continuing to be just as silly.

 

And this change is not just felt in the big activities but also the everyday little things. While working on puzzles, Buttercup would often need help with a few pieces and now I notice that I get called lesser and lesser to share this activity with her. So now while I’m more of a cheerleader on the sidelines, I rejoice in being by her side and helping her gain more confidence in her talents, even if it’s a simple ‘woo hoo’ at the end.

 

When dropping them at school I would get flooded with loads of hugs and kisses. Now the moment they see their friends they dart out of my embrace. So now I make it a game to get A kiss and A hug. It’s not just as enough (for me) but it will suffice to let them know Mama’s always there for that extra loving.

 

So I stand to reason that their literal change of grades means my children need me more than ever, but just not in the same way as the previous academic year. They will always be my babies but as they move up a class, I need to simultaneously move up the parenting class and guide them in their journey towards becoming independent, fearless children.

 

If the ‘only thing constant is change’ then “ the secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” – Socrates.

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